Look In Me

Parents are the best!

2010-02-24T11:09:00.000+05:30

Yes, my dad said to me, "Son, we are there for you."

This my dear friends is why family always comes first.
Happy days are here again!

My leap of faith

2010-02-23T05:37:00.000+05:30

I have a problem. Actually, it's more of a quarter-life-crisis. (Yes, those do exist.)

It is not a girl problem, it is not a money problem. It's an omg-my-career-is-wrong-for-me crisis.
It shouldn't have been such a huge problem, but I did not tackle it in the beginning and it just snowballed on me.
Now it threatens to engulf my happiness and that of my family. It also somewhat threatens to engulf me.

I have figured out that I cannot fight it alone. Fortunately, I have very loving parents. I have sent an email to my dad explaining my predicament. That is my leap of faith. It is my last hope. If dad bails me out, I survive.

And thus begins the long wait.

I am what I am...

2009-12-08T21:20:00.002+05:30

I have been thinking, what am I?

Am I what I was born with, or am I what I have made of myself?

Am I just the sum total of all the experiences, big and small, that I went through?

Are we really all born equal?

So many questions, so few answers. I've decided to believe that which makes me most happy. So here it is: I was not born equal, perhaps slightly better than most of humanity. Also, I did not make the most of the opportunities that I got, hence my current below-optimal state. I am mostly the sum total of my experiences, but I am also slightly more. This more is a product of my intelligence and imagination.

Still, here is gratitude to all those who influenced me.

Thanks You :)

The passing of an Idiot

2009-09-19T21:01:00.005+05:30

The Village Idiot is no more. Having shed his lethargic shell (and his unexplainable url), the village idiot has now become a new and improved version of himself. Yes, I am talking about the blog as if it is a person. Yes, I know I sound crazy. I assure you, I am a total whack-job.
So come visit me at The Idiotic Villager.

minipost #1

2009-08-24T20:20:00.002+05:30

There are times in life when everything else takes a back seat compared to what one is currently engaged in. This is not one of those times for me. As much as I love blogging, I haven't gotten around to making a most for several days now. So, instead letting my dear blog slowly die of neglect, I am going to use the age-old technique of mini-posting.

Keeping in tune with the accepted format of mini-posts, I write the following:

Part 1. Reason for inactivity:
Have been working(when not sleeping) on a website for a college-event with my dear friend Dave.

Part 2. Short Poem/Hastily taken photograph:
My life is in a ditch,
I know not what to do,
Female of dog is bitch,
Out of the back comes poo.

Part 3. Apologies for being inactive:
Sorry.

Part 4. Loving words to all readers:
Dears, Sweethearts, Honey, Sugar, Darlings... etc.

Part 5. Empty promise of future improvement:
I will be king of the world and you shall be my queen.

Do take note of the number in the title of the post. Yes, there will be more of these in days to come.
Cheers!

2008-09-26T22:22:00.000+05:30

April 2007, the date on my previous entry reads. Now it's almost October 2008. I am a lousy blogger. But then again, not everybody says 'Blogspot' before 'Mama'.

So what do you do when your girlfriend finds out that the brand new guitar you bought was actually lingerie for the hot girl in college? I'd say start praying.

The Phoenix

2007-04-04T20:17:00.000+05:30

Remember how I referred to the phoenix in my last post? Well it’s happened. And once again it is none but a girl that has helped me back on my feet. Yes I have a girlfriend now, and she loves me like I have never been loved before. She makes life so much better, the world so much more bearable. She holds my hand regardless of the state I am in. And for once I know she isn’t going to let go. Its hard to heal broken hearts completely. Like a rape victim recoiling from touch, dumped hearts recoil from love. But given the proper love and care, it can be done. The most grievous of wounds can be healed, the worst of pain will subside, and once again there shall be bliss, not from ignorance, but from love.

Ok, ok... I know I have been talking real soft for sometime now, but love can do that to the toughest of guys. And I was never really tough to begin with. But anyways, that is that. Take it as a tribute to the girl who helped me reincarnate.

Now about the next post, it is going to be a discussion of belief, faith and God. I did some soul searching some time ago and found that I am actually an atheist. So yea, the topic of my next post will be,- “‘Let there be light’ He said, and there were Crayons.” What do crayons have to do with God? Go Figure!!

Until next time then,
Sayonara…

Another Blank Page...

2007-01-16T13:19:00.000+05:30

Its been two months since I started living away from home, perhaps three. Lost track of time. Its funny how people let go of your hand when you need them the most. For the past few years I have been cautioning myself. I keep telling myself I shouldn’t trust anyone but me. Then something happened that made me change that outlook. I found someone who loved me. Loved me beyond words. She took me out of my cold frozen shell and made me feel. I began to trust, began to believe in the goodness of mankind. Haha… Never did I think that the same person, the selfsame girl who made me live once again would be the one to let me die. Yes, I broke up with my girlfriend. And it couldn’t have happened at a better time. I start living alone for the first time. Away from my parents, amongst strangers, and she says she no longer loves me. Its like jumping off a plane and realizing that your parachute wont work. More like bungee jumping and realizing that you forgot to secure the other end of the rope.

Yea, I did feel suicidal for sometime. Down in the dumps, more dead than alive, cold, damp, yada yada….Then I realized that it isn’t worth dying for. I have a life to live, people to live it for. I have stuff to do, things to experience and suicide is cowardice anyway. So I decided to wipe it all out, like reformatting your hard-drive when it gets plagued by viruses. And here I am, turning over a new leaf. Learning to walk again, learning to feel, to understand my needs. Yes, yet once again, like a phoenix, I rise from the ashes, to write a new story on another blank page.

The next step...

2006-09-26T23:23:00.000+05:30

Finally the time has come for me to move out of my house and into a hostel so I can attend college. Change always makes me nervous, though I should have got used to it by now. A totally new place, totally new people, and a new culture to adjust to. I don’t think I will have a lot of trouble though, especially because now I have something very solid and comforting that I can hold on to while I am falling through the darkness. Yes I am talking about my sweetheart. She has been a concrete pillar that I can lean on, and I have full faith that she will hold me when I need her. Being lonely really sucks, so I am really thankful that I have such a loving and caring girlfriend.

Well the challenges that I expect to face are ragging and studies. The seniors in college are going to rag me, perhaps worse than anyone else because I wont fit in with everyone else, having never lived in the place. But as long as it stays lawful, I don’t think I am going to have a problem with that. Studies, my second concern is a bit enigmatic right now. I only have a faint idea of what I am going to have to face, but I am sure I can score good if I work a little hard, so that’s exactly what I am going to do. I know sounding positive is really lame, but hey sometimes you have to do that to get places. Whether I like it or not, the responsibility of my life is being thrust into my hands, I can only hold it or drop it, so I am going to try to hold it best as I can. But its going to be hard, like trying to hold water with your bare palms.

So right now, my mood is positive but apprehensive. I am looking forward to being independent and going to take it as an adventure. After all, life is a game that one can either enjoy or be miserable through, because no matter what, it has to end someday. So here’s to a life full of new experiences and a whole load of fun.

Cheers.

Hmmm...

2006-09-08T19:14:00.000+05:30

“What kills you not, makes you stronger”

Ah, my favorite quote. Its pretty straightforward, basically any negative experience that does not cause one’s death makes one stronger. By negative experience I refer to injuries more mental than physical, because due to some inexplicable twist of fate, I have not yet been seriously injured physically, and hence have no right to talk about it. But mental agony I have been through, and every time that I have lived through it, I have come out a stronger and if possible bigger person. When one gets injured for the first time, it really hurts. You may spend days and nights crying just because someone at school made fun of you. But once you get used to being made fun of, it no longer hurts anymore, because you have been through it once, and know that it isn’t going to kill you.

Sometimes we are so scared of going into a potentially hazardous situation that we do not dare to venture into it. But this is the worst possible thing to do, you see if you go into such a situation, there are only two possible outcomes, 1.You get killed, which is good, don’t have to worry about this sad world anymore. 2. You live through it, and come out stronger, which is also good. So both these options are ‘win’ situations. Hence the only way to lose, is not to attempt something, just because you are afraid it will hurt.

Hey that’s what out elders have been telling us all through our lives, that means I am getting really mature, or I am going nuts. Well, that’s it for this time, hope I have something to write about soon.

Adieus.

I am back!!!

2006-09-08T17:01:00.000+05:30

Its been a long time since I wrote something on my blog. The primary reason for this is that I have as usual been a lazy bum. I just finished my 12^th grade and found myself facing an expectedly long vacation with nothing much to do. So I decided to take a sabbatical and be a lazy bum. As a result I have lost interest in almost everything, I don’t remember a word of my 13 year schooling, and I don’t want to do anything worthwhile anymore. After a long wait my college is finally going to start this month, so I am slowly gearing up to face life anew. This is why I am writing on my blog again.

“What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.”

That’s what I am going to write about next time, so keep waiting *evil grin*.

Bai.

Love...

2006-04-03T03:06:00.000+05:30

Ever since I was a teenager, i used to ask myself, what is love? How can two people share a bond that makes them willing to sacrifice a lot for each other? My experiments with love have been eccentric and sometimes downright disastrous. Failures have made me more and more pessimistic, but I guess i had enough optimism left in me to keep trying again. I squandered love in quite a few places, wasted it on some unworthy girls and basically made a fool of myself. Love is unconditional, it doesn’t need a reason and hence is seldom well thought out.

After wandering on the twisted path of love for almost 8 years, I have finally found someone who has like me been wandering in search of the perfect companion. What was different this time is that trust was established between us before love took hold. Usually people just love and then try to trust and screw it all up, but this is different. Its never been like this before. Love has brought me happiness; it has driven away all my pessimism. I honestly haven’t stopped smiling ever since it happened. I will refrain from mentioning the name of my love here as I don’t want to make this blog too personal.

Well this time, it’s a long distance relation for me. That means me and my love live far apart and as we are both still dependant on our parents, cannot meet for a long time to come. Anybody who has had one will tell you that a long distance relation is difficult to maintain. This is because such a relation requires complete trust. Moreover, there is very less or no physical contact to spice up the relation. Hence it requires a lot of patience. I am willing to put all I have into this relation, I want to make it work and I am quite sure so does my soul mate.

For a change I’ll end my post on this optimistic note.

Adieus Amigos

Success : A Study...

2006-03-21T20:29:00.000+05:30

"Any Failure will tell you that Success is but a matter of Luck"

At first glance, this quote, like all quoteworthy quotes, sounds like bullshit. But if i can make a blog entry out of it, it has to be a little more than that, doesnt it? We can look at this quote from 2 contradictory points of view.

Firstly, imagine being a successful person, one who has never known failure, who works for what he wants and gets it no matter what. Just for once imagine being the ideal child of ones parents, the ideal spouse, the ideal friend. And from this newly attained plane of existance, let us look at this quote. "Success is but a matter of Luck"? Certainly NOT!!! Being the ideal person that i am, i have worked hard for all my success, i have put in the effort and deserve my success. Its not a matter of Luck, its a matter of hardwork and determination and crap like that.

Now imagine being the ultimate loser, one who have never tasted success, one who always ends up with the butt end of every deal. Now i ask myself, is success a matter of luck? Ofcourse it is a matter of luck. There are too many variables in the equation of success, you have to be really lucky for all of them to have the right values.

Thats two diffrent takes on the second part of the quote, pretty straight and easily understood. Now lets take a look at the first part, "Any Failure will tell you..." now that is what makes this quote quoteworthy. It clearly specifies that the opinion that "Success is a matter of Luck" is subscribed to by losers. Well forgive me if i am a bit biased, but i think us losers are the reigning majority on this planet.

So whats the point of all this pointless discussion? Should one work for success? Or is it so dependant on luck that one should just wait for it to shine? Well according to me, its all in ones hands, one can be successful all the time if one wants. How? Well heres the catch, everyone can define success in their own way. i can consider wealth as a measure of success, or happiness, or even satisfaction. i can consider myself successful for just having survived so long in this sad world.

So basically, success is what you make of it. I dont think i made a lot of sense, but hey thats what blogs are for.
Adious.

A Failure?

2006-03-02T22:13:00.000+05:30

Remember my promise? I broke it. Not only did I not make any attempt to study, I even failed to post the outcome as promised. Sad. The long anticipated exams are finally here. First one over. It was English, so no problems there. Next is Physics, just 1 day to go and i have hardly done 10% of the total syllabus. 13 chapters left. So have I failed? Have i finally blown it so bad that there is no recovery, no forgiveness, no salvation?

I think not. Although it may be impossible for me to get something above the 80s in physics, i can certainly get more than 70 if I work hard enough tonight. So here I go again, one more battle, one more stupendous effort. I can only hope to succeed. But the hope is never empty, for one thing, 13 is my lucky number. Secondly i can stay awake all night without problems. Thirdly, I can glean and store information with stupendous speed. My only problem is willpower, I have very little of the rare quality.

Well let me see what I can do. Only time knows what will happen, and it is reluctant to share its secrets.

A promise

2006-02-14T22:44:00.000+05:30

"Procrastination is the thief of time"
Thats one of the quotes my father embedded in my mind from a young age, and yet i dont take it seriously. My 12th grade final exams are upon me. I have like 15 days to study for them and i simply cant get myself to pick up a book. I must confess that i have never liked to study, but i have always managed decent grades, sometimes even topping the class. And this exam is supposed to be the most important exam of my life and i dont feel like studying.

I think its time i let my lazyness go and gear up. Tomorrow i am honestly going to start studying in the ernest. This is a promise, to none but myself. I'll post weather i am able to keep it or not tommorow night. Till then adious amigoes....

Is it really unfair?

2006-01-22T14:58:00.000+05:30

Well, a lot of times somethings happen that leave you rattled and scarred. Usually it is being accused and punished for something you are not guilty of. When your intentions were pure and yet the effect of your actions was negative if not devastating. Such things leave scars embedded in your mind. Something similar happened to me and inspired me to write yet another poem. Read on...

Verdict

In chains, he is brought in pain,
He gambled they say, he lost.
Damage was done, someone
Must pay the cost.

Accused of deceit, faith forgotten,
Love blemished, friendship fallen.
Hate burns, too late he learns,
Misunderstood, innocence stolen.

Hammer cracks, silence roars
Unending, impatient wait,
They talk, they concur.
They glance, more hate?

The jury stands,
A last mark of respect?
The foreman speaks:
Condemned till death.
=============================
Notice the last line is "Condemned TILL death" rather than "condemned TO death".

Introspection

2006-01-22T14:51:00.000+05:30

Every once in a while, every one of us has to take a break from the rat race and glance at the track behind. Thats what makes us more human and less rat.

I have always been of the opinion that life is a game(an RPG if I may say so). To win, you have to know the rules and use them in your best interests. But time is a wonderful entity, it never fails to throw a monkey wrench in the works when you think you have got it all figured out. I'll describe my grudge with time at length, but not today. So now I realize that life is a game all right. But there is only one, just one simple rule. And it is "There are no rules". It is a no holds barred, all out brawl where you have to rough it out with all sorts of weird creatures, some stronger, some weaker. One must out-maneuver the stronger ones and one must be merciless to the weaker. Thats what it takes to be a 'Winner'.

So after thinking for quite some time on this, i have decided to use my ability of adaptation and yet again mould myself into something new, something better. I have decided to do only what I want to do and only the way I want to do it. And to all those who will hate me for my thoughts, my actions, my attitude, or anything me, I say 'you can take all your hate and stuff it up your ass, because you know what? I dont give a shit'.

Well thats all for now.

See you in hell.

Sandy out.