Another Blank Page...

Its been two months since I started living away from home, perhaps three. Lost track of time. Its funny how people let go of your hand when you need them the most. For the past few years I have been cautioning myself. I keep telling myself I shouldn’t trust anyone but me. Then something happened that made me change that outlook. I found someone who loved me. Loved me beyond words. She took me out of my cold frozen shell and made me feel. I began to trust, began to believe in the goodness of mankind. Haha… Never did I think that the same person, the selfsame girl who made me live once again would be the one to let me die. Yes, I broke up with my girlfriend. And it couldn’t have happened at a better time. I start living alone for the first time. Away from my parents, amongst strangers, and she says she no longer loves me. Its like jumping off a plane and realizing that your parachute wont work. More like bungee jumping and realizing that you forgot to secure the other end of the rope.

Yea, I did feel suicidal for sometime. Down in the dumps, more dead than alive, cold, damp, yada yada….Then I realized that it isn’t worth dying for. I have a life to live, people to live it for. I have stuff to do, things to experience and suicide is cowardice anyway. So I decided to wipe it all out, like reformatting your hard-drive when it gets plagued by viruses. And here I am, turning over a new leaf. Learning to walk again, learning to feel, to understand my needs. Yes, yet once again, like a phoenix, I rise from the ashes, to write a new story on another blank page.